Faith and the Paranoid Mom

by Amy Ford

“If I hear about one more baby left in a car, or accidental drowning, or mass shooting, I’m going to lose my mind,” I ranted to myself with all the hormones of a pregnancy in its eighth month.  The constant barrage of news stories such as these is enough to send anyone on a media fast, but with my second child on the way, I am nearer the point of gathering supplies, locking up my home, and huddling with my family for the next eighteen years like some paranoid doomsday prepper.

This, I know, is not rational thinking.  Sheltering our children does them no favors in life, as any pop psychologist will confirm.  However, I think all women who have carried  children in their wombs or gone through the long and difficult process of adopting cannot help but feel a sense of urgency to protectively cling to their precious ones when the possibility of harm arises.  “After all,” I think, “those are my babies!”

That’s when I hear the voice of my Father: “Ahem, your babies?”

Okay, so that still, small voice has to get abrupt with me sometimes.  But, He has a point.  I have heard, and repeated myself, that God does not have grandchildren, only children.  And these lives that have been entrusted to my husband and me are just that: trusts.  We are not owners outright.  These children in my trust belong to God first and foremost.

So what does that say to my mother bear instincts?  Of course, I am responsible for these children: their health, education, safety, and development.  But ultimately, I cannot choose their paths or their destinies.  The oft quoted verse comes to mind immediately: “For I know the plans I have for you…”(Jer. 29:11).  We all know this verse, we repeat it, we write it on baby shower and graduation cards, but do we take it seriously when it comes to our own children?  It is a question of faith.  Do we have enough faith to truly trust God with that which is most precious to us, no matter what God’s plans look like?

Francis Chan, in his book Crazy Love, poses the scenario of a group of people going on a mission trip.  As we send them off, the first thing we always do is pray for their safety.  It seems logical, but what if we changed our perspective?  Shouldn’t our goal be, on mission trips or even everyday life, to see the Kingdom advanced, no matter what?  Jesus tells us to seek first His Kingdom and His righteousness, and all else will be granted to us (Matt. 6:33).  Of course we want our missionaries, our children, our spouses to be safe, but I am pretty sure God knows that.  I am also pretty sure that God can get glory out of any situation, and sometimes, His name shines more brightly through adversity and trial than through an easy, comfortable situation.

Many pastors like to remind us of the story of Abraham taking Isaac to be sacrificed out of obedience to God, having enough faith that God would not break His promise.  However, I cannot help but think about what Sarah was doing while her husband and child were away.  Did she know what God had told Abraham to do?  Did she pace the floors? Did she sleep at all?  Did she walk to the edge of their property and peer off in the distance looking for a sign of their return?  I cannot imagine the heart-wrenching hours she spent, knowing or even suspecting what was happening, but not knowing the end result.  However, it was their obedience that shook the world, laying the foundation for every hope we have today.

It is this kind of faith that God desires: not simply acknowledging belief, but living with Kingdom perspective, placing God on the throne of complete sovereignty in our lives.  And every time I look at my son’s beautiful face or feel my baby girl flip inside me, I have to stop and say a prayer of surrender to the Lord.  He knows the plans for me and my loved ones, if only I will trust Him enough to let Him fulfill them.